In my mediation work with congregations, I have often seen how people in the midst of long-term conflict use defensive styles of communication. In one particular case, I saw how both parties repeatedly used the same words and phrases to defend themselves. These words set up a protective wall between them that prevented new things from being said and heard; the old words and stories continued to dominate the discussion …

Dear brother and family … Oh, I tell you, I was so caught up in this election. My whole family was, I guess. My husband, Abraham (they call him A.K. down at the publishing house) has campaigned for the Republicans since the 1860 presidential campaign! His brother, John (yes, the famous John F. Funk), was campaigning back then, too, for the Republican’s “Wide Awake” club. But ever since he was ordained in ’65, he hasn’t voted. Our Mennonite ministers aren’t supposed to vote …