Hebrews 11:1 says, “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Faith is an abstract concept, but it carries deep power. As a Christian, I believe God asks me to hold tightly to the dreams in my heart, even when they seem out of reach. A dream, by nature, is something I long for, but I am not sure if that will become true. However, faith becomes the strength that pushes me to work toward those dreams, and it makes me believe that these dream for sure can become true.

Looking back, I am just a young woman with a big dream from a humble family in Indonesia. Living in a so-called third-world country, money has often been an obstacle. But I have never let that stop me from dreaming even bigger. I choose to believe God is with me in this journey. Still, there are moments when I cry, especially when my dreams feel distant. However, during ups and downs journey, I have come to see my dreams not just as personal desires, but as a divine calling.

I first sensed that calling in 2020, during an interview with a lecturer from the Mennonite Seminary in Pati, Central Java. She asked me, “Why did you choose theology?” I had not prepared an answer, but I found myself saying, “Because I want to serve women and children in the church.” I surprised myself. My original interest in theology was centered on Christian history, not specifically on women or children. But that unexpected answer planted a seed.

Over time, I came to believe that it was not just a random response. It was God’s direction. Since then, God has connected me with people who have helped me grow in knowledge and experience, especially in serving women in the church. I found my rhythm in gender studies, although not yet in children’s ministry, and gradually realized that studying feminist theology was my calling.

My church, the Javanese Mennonite Church (synodally), remains deeply patriarchal. Out of around 110 pastors, only two are female ordained pastors. I did not know this when I first studied in the seminary, but learning it changed me. It gave me a clear purpose: to advocate for gender justice in the church. I dream of making women visible and heard. I want women to feel confident standing as equals with men, to know they are just as competent, intelligent, and worthy.

To make that dream becomes true, I knew I had to start with myself. I had to show my community that I, too, am capable. That moment came when I was selected for the 2024 Bridging Gaps program in the Netherlands. I became the first woman from the Javanese Mennonite Church to study theology abroad. I dedicated my research there to my community, especially the women, and focused on The Struggles of Javanese Mennonite Women Today. I did all of this because I had already said “yes” to God’s calling. I believe God honors women who raise their voices for justice.

As a Mennonite, I also find strength in our history, particularly in the stories of women like Margarethe Prüss from the 16th century. She inspired me with her courage. Despite societal limitations – patriarchy, still she found a way to spread the ideas of Anabaptistism. She was married three times, each time to a printer, and this was her resistant way to continue the Anabaptistism work. For that reason, she published news about the radical Anabaptist movement through her husband’s company. Her determination reminds me that being a woman is never a reason to stop dreaming. If she could find a way to resist – lead in the shadows of patriarchy, so can we.