Child, adolescent and family therapist offers suggestions to parents of children starting or returning to school.

Are you a parent of a school-age child? How can you help your child be successful in school? Here are some tips parents and caregivers should follow to help any school-age child:

Help your child develop a healthy sleep routine. Develop this routine two weeks before school starts. The amount of sleep your child needs varies, but a good rule of thumb is 10 hours of sleep a night for ages six through nine, nine hours for preteens, and eight to nine hours forteenagers. Insufficient sleep can result in decreased ability to pay attention, increased irritability and more behavioral problems.

Convey confidence and offer encouragement. Focus on the child’s efforts and right behaviors. Communicate with your child daily by asking open-ended questions such as “Who did you eat lunch with?” “Did you work with a partner or in a group today?” “What did you enjoy most today?” “What was your least favorite thing today?” Positive social relationships with parents result in greater ability to regulate stress response systems. Being calm or having a regulated stress response system promotes healthy development.

Prepare for school structure. Summertime has a different rhythm and pace than school time. School requires a child to participate in highly structured routines, follow rules on school property and bus, interact with many people, and absorb lots of information throughout the day. Even if your child is looking forward to going to school, new routines require the child to make biological, psychological, social and emotional adjustments that increase stress.

To help children adjust to a new schedule, help them recognize their emotions with comments such as, “It sounds like you were confused.” Do not offer simple platitudes like, “It will get better” which may not be true. Acknowledge it was not a simple day and the child made it through.

Plan for the next day by laying clothes out the night before, make sure homework assignments are completed and in the backpack, have lunch money ready and sign permission slips. Establish a place for the backpack so it is in the same spot everyday.

Display a love for learning in your home by letting your child know you like to learn about new things too.

Offer healthy food. Your child is burning up energy, building neural pathways and physically growing. Support them with nutritious meals and snacks. Nobody runs on empty and your child needs healthy fuels like fruits and vegetables.

Limit extra activities. Extracurricular activities promote growth and learning, but parents must limit their number. Too many commitments increases stress in child and parents. A general rule is a limit of two activities per child. Of course, this depends on your child’s capabilities and other family responsibilities.

Establish a daily routine for your child. Children need time to unwind after school with some unstructured time. However, “me time” should not last all night. If the child needs to complete homework, it is important to avoid last minute cramming and panic. Set up a place to study that has good lighting, needed supplies and few distractions. If the subject matter is difficult for the child, plan breaks. No one is productive when stressed out. A daily routine helps the child to get into a biological, psychological, social and emotional rhythm, which is calming.

If children are attending a new school or entering school for the first time, follow these tips:

Before school begins, visit the school several times. Walk around the building inside and outside; attend all orientation sessions; meet teachers; visit classrooms. Know school and bus rules and rules for pedestrians and bike riders. If possible, meet other children who will be attending that school and grade. This is important because familiarity decreases stress. You can also reduce stress by discussing what will not change in your child’s life—parents will still go to work, dinner will still be served at the same time, and the child is still loved.

If your child is entering school for the first time, you can increase familiarity by playing school. Read books about other children going to school and their experiences. Explain details about what happens in a normal school day—getting to school, eating lunch, getting home.

Overall, it helps when parents are upbeat about the child’s school, when parents convey confidence in the child being successful, whenparents and child plan for the next day and for big projects and when parents and child communicate daily.

If problems arise:

Pay attention to symptoms that may indicate your child needs additional help. Seek professional help:

• If your child is frequently in trouble at school for not completing assignment or getting into trouble with other children.
• If your child has excessive crying and clinginess when it is time to go to school.
• If your child frequently complains about physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches.
• If your child has increased nightmares or demonstrates regressed behaviors such as wetting accidents, inability to sleep alone, picking at skin, or sucking thumb.

A therapist who works with children and adolescents can help with evaluation and assessment. The therapist can help the child learn positive coping skills, provide recommendations to the parents to help the child make adjustments, and, if needed, make referrals to other professionals and agencies.

Lois Neace is a Child, Adolescent and Family Therapist, Licensed Specialist Clinical Social Worker (LSCSW) and Registered Play Therapist – Supervisor (RPT-S) at Prairie View.