Messages of hope come out of the tragedy of Howard Schmitt’s death.

Jean and Howard Schmitt woke up to a routine morning on Sept. 15, 2011, in Plain City, Ohio.

“Howard and I got up at the usual time, ate breakfast and did the online jigsaw puzzle, as was our custom,” Jean says.

Then Howard, 77, went to the basement to finish his sermon for Sunday. Howard, a longtime pastor, was serving as part-time pastor at South Union Mennonite Church in West Liberty, Ohio. The year before he had celebrated 50 years in ministry.

However, that sermon was one he would never preach.

Later that afternoon, Howard and Jean (in photo above by Rick Buchanan/Everence) attended a church council meeting in West Liberty. On their way back, about five miles from their home, a car came directly at them.

Howard tried to avoid the car but ended up veering off the road into a cornfield. Still, the airbags exploded, and the oncoming vehicle hit them.

After the crash, Jean looked over at Howard and spoke to him, but he did not respond. She could not reach him because of her locked seat belt and her own serious injuries.

“I knew he was gone, so I said goodbye to him,” she says.

The driver of the other car was Mitchell, a 17-year-old local high school senior and football player. The passengers were also football players, 14 and 15 years old. All three boys were on their way home from football practice.

The two passengers were able to get out of their car and went to Jean’s car door, which was closest to them. Jean told him to check on her husband.

One boy stayed with her, while the other went to Howard, who told the boy, “Just hold my hand,” before he died.

Mitchell and Jean were the most seriously injured and were airlifted to the ICU of the local hospital.

Jean suffered many injuries, including multiple broken bones, and post-traumatic stress disorder due to the accident and watching her husband die without being able to assist him.

She could not participate in the funeral for her husband, which delayed her ability to mourn his death.

Valerie Jones, the Schmitts’ daughter, says Jean experienced a “delayed grief reaction” due to her injuries and her pain medication.

During her three-month stay in the hospital, nursing home and inpatient rehab stay, the two passengers came to visit her. “They were dealing with a huge, huge burden,” says Valerie, who lives in Plain City, Ohio.

“We think it was at a point well after the accident, several months, before she was really able to do her grief work,” said Valerie on July 26, 2013.

The situation became complicated when the charges against Mitchell were released in December 2011, which included aggravated vehicular homicide, aggravated vehicular assault, failure to control and driving under the influence.

“I made a deliberate decision not to let myself become bitter. It wouldn’t change the outcome,” said Valerie. “There was no room emotionally in my heart to be bitter.”

A year and a half after the accident, the disposition hearing took place in Juvenile Court on Good Friday, March 29, 2013. (In juvenile court, the sentencing is referred to as a disposition, so this was, in essence, Mitchell’s sentencing).

Jeff, the Schmitts’ son, who lives in Boston, Valerie and Jean addressed the court.
Jean said in part: “Mitch, I will need to forgive you many times. My prayer for you is that you have and are continuing to learn from this horrible experience that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Howard would not want you to suffer any more than you have. He is in a better place and has already forgiven you.”

Mitchell could have seen jail time, but the Schmitts requested a different kind of sentence—one of reconciliation and healing.

After the hearing, the judge made the courtroom available for the Schmitt family and Jeff Bartlett, South Union’s pastor at the time, to meet with Mitch and his parents for the first time, as they were advised not to have contact with the family before that day.

The meeting of the two families concluded with Jeff leading a prayer for reconciliation.
“It was a first step in my process of forgiving,” writes Jean.

There were apologies and a lot of tears, Valerie remembers.

“What took place in that courtroom had a big impact on the judge, prosecuting attorney and the victim advocate,” says Bartlett, a pastor who was working on transitional issues at South Union from December 2011 to August 2013.

Fortunately the court asked for and followed the Schmitts’ input. Part of Mitchell’s sentence included addressing Howard’s congregation. On April 28, 2013, he and his mother attended South Union.

Valerie led worship the Sunday before, so she prepared the church for Mitchell’s visit, asking them to “come with a forgiving spirit,” she said. Bartlett visited Mitchell earlier that week to help prepare him and show him the bulletin for the service.

That spring morning, Valerie and Gary, her husband, were the first to greet Mitchell and his mother when they arrived.

During the service, Mitchell stood before the congregation and apologized to the Schmitts and the church for the accident. The family’s victim advocate attended the service.

While looking at the Schmitts, Mitchell said, “From the bottom of my heart, I apologize. … Based on everything I’m hearing, [Howard] was an amazing man. I hope to do something good with my life. I hope that I can make you proud.”

On that day, Jean realized she was able to forgive Mitchell with all of her heart. Now, Mitchell is in college and doing well, although “he will carry a burden for the rest of his life,” says Jean.

After the service, Jean was the first person to go over to Mitchell. Following that, many people from the church greeted him and his mother. In fact, Mitchell and his mother were the last two to leave the sanctuary, says Bartlett.

“It was not an easy thing,” Bartlett says. “There was deep pain, … [yet] the seeds have been planted for many good things to grow—in the life of Mitch, the officers of the court, the surrounding community and in South Union and the Schmitt family.”

A portion of Mitchell’s sentence also required community service. A couple weeks after his apology, he returned to South Union Church. A member—Bob Frey—worked with Mitchell on some church projects.

Then he took Mitchell out to lunch and talked about Howard’s ministry and legacy. Bob and Mitchell paused at the tree planted by the congregation in Howard’s honor.
Mitchell also spent time at Howard’s gravesite.

“We don’t want my dad’s death to be something senseless,” Valerie said. “We want the best for Mitchell. We don’t want to be held captive by our grief, nor do we want to be bitter.”

Howard was born in 1933 in Waterloo County, Ontario. He served as pastor of many congregations throughout his ministry. They include: Wanner Mennonite Church in Cambridge, Ontario; Calvary Church in Ayr, Ontario; South Union Mennonite Church in West Liberty, Ohio; Bayshore Mennonite Church in Sarasota, Fla.; and Sharon Mennonite Church in Plain City.

After his retirement in 2004, he continued to serve Oak Grove Mennonite Church in West Liberty as transitional pastor before returning to South Union as pastor in 2006.

“His outstanding intellect, leadership and warm personality made him a quintessential pastor and role model. I have repeatedly stated that had he not chosen the ministry he would have been a CEO of a large business or organization,” John Rohrer, a friend and member at Sharon Menno­nite Church, wrote in an email dated May 14, 2013.

Jean believes there are messages of hope that came from this tragedy. “After being a pastor’s wife for 50 years, I realized there are many churches where grudges are being held,” she says. “Life is too short to carry a grudge against a fellow believer.”

“There are people around us that would love to see us be angry,” said Valerie. “But we believe that it’s about forgiving.”

Anna Groff is interim editor of The Mennonite.