The example of Thomas helps us be honest in our relationship with God.

Next to Peter, Thomas is my favorite disciple. Why? Because he’s so like me.

We can tell God we don’t understand, even when it looks like everyone else does. We can ask God the hard questions.

Over the years, he’s been called “doubting Thomas” because he insisted on touching Jesus’ wounds before he believed in his resurrection. However, I’d guess he wasn’t the only disciple who questioned and wondered but the only one who had the courage to ask.

Look at the situation in which he asked the above question.

The disciples are huddled with Jesus in the “upper room” on the night before his death. He is giving them his final words, prophecies and instructions. Jesus has just finished telling them he is going to the “Father’s house … to prepare a place for [them]” and that “you know the way to the place where I am going” (John 14:2, 4).

Was Thomas the only one who asked himself, What in the world is he talking about? Where is he going? And why does he think we know the way?

Of course not. None of them knew what was coming—Jesus’ betrayal, arrest, suffering and death. Or, if they did, they buried the clues deep in denial. Jesus’ words about “the way” and “the Father’s house” must have sounded like enigmatic gibberish to them. But no one asked him except Thomas.

Like the student in class who is unable to fake understanding, the one who cares enough to want to “get it,” he alone raises his hand and protests, “But teacher—”

That’s why I love him. Because I was that kind of student, too.

After the Resurrection, when Thomas walks into the disciples’ prayer meeting and declares, “Unless I … put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe” (John 20:25), he is again being exactly himself. Honest Thomas. The one who is brave enough to give voice to them all.

Notice that Jesus does not reject him or even refuse him. Graciously, he allows Thomas to do what he needs to do in order to believe. Even his rebuke—”Be not faithless but believing” (KJV) —is mild. Jesus accepts Thomas just as he is, doubts, questions and all.

And because he does, the rest of us can be totally honest with our God. We can tell God we don’t understand, even when it looks like everyone else does. We can ask God the hard questions. We can even get angry with God without fearing we’ll be reduced to a smoking ash. (As someone once told me, “Do you think God doesn’t know?”)

Faith, at its heart, is a relationship with God. And any relationship worth its salt needs to be honest.

Ask Honest Thomas. Ask me.