New Voices: By and about young adults

I came across an interesting quote attributed to John Lennon: “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy.’ They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.”

Though there is some question of whether it is a genuine Lennon quote or an apocryphal attribution, it’s certainly humorous to imagine a presumptuous little shaggy-haired John Lennon getting cheeky with his teacher. But even as it causes a smile, this story also brings a twinge of conviction and sadness as I realize that many of us fall into the trap of this teacher. Too often we aim at attaining particular goals rather than developing as individuals.

This awareness coincided with a recent experience in my life. I’m generally not a quitter, but I dropped a seminary class this semester because I was overly stressed to the point of experiencing negative consequences. For a couple of weeks, my goal of completing the seminary class was higher than the goal of being the person I desire to be.

This was a wakeup call for me. I became painfully aware that my drive for achievement was trumping my desire to demonstrate the love of Christ in my relationships at home, work and in my community. Granted, I’ve completed numerous classes in the past while remaining the type of person I want to be, but this class stood in the way of a greater goal. For me, being a loving and caring person is more important than accomplishing an objective.

The quote also related to my job. I spend a lot of time advising high school students on college and career questions. Sometimes they tell me that adults in their lives care more about what they want to be than who they want to be when they grow up. This sounds a lot like the teacher in the quote.

In my own story, what I want to be is a seminary graduate. This is a good goal. However, who I want to be is more important. I want to be loving, caring, compassionate and a good listener.

My students have good goals, too. They want to be teachers, pastors, engineers, musicians, pilots, farmers and missionaries. As I assist them in reaching those good goals, I need to help them make sure these future achievements do not become more important than the types of people they will become. Will they be compassionate doctors? Will they be lawyers who are committed to justice and truth? Will their farming reflect a love for God, their neighbors and creation?

Discipleship should not neglect to address goals and objectives, but it should be more focused on the development of Christian character. According to the story, Lennon understood at an early age that happiness was more important than reaching career goals. Interestingly, Saint Augustine and many other theologians and philosophers throughout history have equated knowing happiness with knowing God. Genuine happiness was found only by putting the pursuit of God at the place of greatest importance in life.

As demonstrated by the teacher in the story and my own recent struggle, it is not easy to keep our priorities aligned. Seeking after true happiness is not as simple as it may first appear. Our misplaced pursuits come so naturally that Jesus tells us as disciples, “If you want to save your life, you’ll lose it, but if you lose your life for my sake, you will find it.” The pursuit of happiness involves giving up those desires that are out of order for the sake of becoming the people God intends us to be.

Certainly we should call our young people to accomplish great things in life and to make the most of their potential, but we should always be attentive first and foremost to the development of Christlike character, never supporting its sacrifice for the sake of reaching a goal. And because we know that example is a powerful thing, let’s make sure we pursue our own development as individuals so others can observe what it means to have rightly ordered lives.

Jon Heinly is youth minister for Lancaster (Pa.) Mennonite Conference and Lancaster Mennonite School.