Over the past thirty-five years I have served in a pastoral role in four different Mennonite congregations, and in each congregation there has been debate about the validity of same-gender marriage.

The recent decision by the United States Supreme Court that same-gender couples have a constitutional right to marry will not end the debate within churches. All states must now grant marriage licenses to same-gender couples who request them, but it is still up to denominations, congregations and ministers to decide whether to bless or officiate such marriages. The government decides what marriage is, and who may marry, based on the rights in the Constitution.

The church, on the other hand, decides what marriage is, and who may marry, based on interpreting the Bible and discerning what best builds up the Body of Christ.

There is no universally agreed-upon Christian definition of marriage, and there is no single biblical understanding of marriage.

Within the Bible the institution of marriage varies: from polygamy to monogamy, with conflicting attitudes on divorce, remarriage, and who may marry whom.

So it is not surprising that different denominations have different understandings of same-gender marriage. Most are against it, but some support it. The same may be said for congregations within Mennonite Church USA.

The Christian argument against same-gender marriage often includes the following points:

• The Bible always describes marriage as being between a man and a woman. Together they form a unique “one flesh,” a sacred unity that brings together male and female, thereby producing children and supplying complementary help and comfort.
• In the Bible, marriage is sometimes viewed as a spiritual mystery that metaphorically represents the joining together of heaven and earth, or of Christ and the church. The bringing together of mutually-essential polarities seems basic to the biblical understanding of marriage.
• In a handful of passages, the Bible is consistent in rejecting same-gender sexual relations, viewing them as impure and immoral.
• Some claim that children tend to thrive best when raised by opposite-gender parents. Since heterosexual marriage has been the basis of family and society for millennia, it is short-sighted for us to think we are wise enough to make a fundamental change to this institution without doing harm to society.

The Christian argument for supporting same-gender marriage often makes the following observations:

• The primary purpose of marriage in the Bible is reproduction, so a wedding for those unable to reproduce (the elderly, eunuchs, and same-gender couples) would have been nonsensical to biblical writers. But today we no longer base marriage on the ability to reproduce. We have no problem blessing the unions of elderly couples or those with known reproductive disabilities.
• Instead, we give more weight to another biblical purpose of marriage: mutual help and comfort. In the past few decades it has become increasingly clear that same-gender couples are fully capable of offering this to one another.
• It is true the Bible rejects same-gender sexual relations in a scattering of passages, but whenever it does so it is because it assumes that same-gender sexual relations are always exploitive or promiscuous. For instance, in Romans 1:18-32 Paul’s opposition to same-gender sexual relations is based on his assumption that such relations are the result of self-centered idolatry, akin to deceit, slander, haughtiness, murder and hatred for God. But today we see same-gender couples who have been faithful to each other for decades, displaying self-giving love that is as genuine as one will find in any heterosexual marriage.
• The Bible says that love for God and love for others is the highest moral law; every other moral decision must conform to these. If marriage for same-gender couples solidifies their love and faithfulness, then they are fulfilling the moral law of the Bible.

These brief paragraphs certainly do not exhaust the arguments on either side, but they give a sense of how Christians, reading the same Bible and committed to many of the same values, are capable of coming to opposite viewpoints on the acceptability of same-gender marriage.

Recently the delegates of Mennonite Church USA reaffirmed our traditional stance that marriage is between a man and a woman.

But the delegates also affirmed a resolution calling for forbearance, recognizing that we do not have consensus on same-gender issues, and urging us to be accepting of the different beliefs and practices of our various conferences, congregations and pastors.

So in the years ahead we will continue discerning the complexities and appropriateness of same-gender marriage.

We will not all come out at the same place. But let us be mutually respectful as each congregation and conference carefully reflects on the meaning of marriage, seeking to act with integrity when they decide to support or not support particular unions.