Grace and Truth

It is more blessed to give than to receive.—Acts 20:35b

It is better to give than to receive. For the person brought up in the arms of the church, this could be one of those “lessons I learned in kindergarten,” Sunday school kindergarten at least.

“Today we’re going to make cards to give to special people in the congregation, because God wants us to show our love, and it is better to give than to receive.”

“Put the quarter in the offering basket because God loves a cheerful giver. No, we don’t take money out of the basket; we put money in the basket because it is better to give than to receive.”

I learned the lesson well. My parents’ training neatly complimented those of the Sunday school teacher. “When we go Christmas shopping, we buy for others, not ourselves. It is better to give than to receive.” Birthdays of siblings were even better training grounds because there was an opportunity to give without any expectation of receiving something yourself on those occasions.

I want to be known as a giving person. Probably most of us do. It is the antidote to a selfish lifestyle, and who wants to be known as a selfish person anyway? Some people report that they feel closer to God when they are giving themselves away. Some people give of their time and abilities and call it service. Others give of their money and call it tithing or offering or stewardship. In many ways, it is a spiritual discipline to give.

I’ve begun to wonder if receiving could also be considered a spiritual discipline—certainly not in a greedy or grabbing way but receiving in a gracious and thankful manner. I know when I am in the position of giving, to have my gift received with joy and gratitude certainly pleases me. The receiver has gifted me, in return, with the happy response.

It is easier to be in the position of the giver, because that implies having plenty. To be the receiver implies being in a position of need, not a fun place to be. Perhaps that is why Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive. It feels better to give out of a place of abundance than it does to be the one who lacks and needs.

I’ve overheard refusals to receive assistance at church fellowship meals and seen the disappointment on the face of the one who wanted to give. People who refuse seldom realize that those offering assistance are worried about unsteady gaits or trembling hands and simply want to maintain independence. It is a spiritual discipline to let go of pride and a gift to the other to become a bit dependent, if only for a few moments.

At a recent pastor’s meeting, someone presented the idea that Mennonites are really great at service, but if we want to be a truly mission-minded people, we need to learn how to receive.

Yes, we have wonderful things to give, tremendous insights about what it means to be a disciple of Jesus, abilities to help others learn how to live in better ways, but to only give to those who need what we have and not receive from them what they have to give is to build barriers rather than to build God’s kingdom.

Jesus had a few things to say about receiving as well as giving. “Receive the Holy Spirit.” “Ask and you shall receive, that your joy may be full.” “Receive the kingdom like a child”—that speaks of joy to me. Perhaps we need to give and receive more joyfully, graciously, thankfully. Perhaps, as we learn to be better givers and receivers, God—and we—will be blessed.

Donna Mast is co-pastor of Scottdale (Pa.) Mennonite Church.