Opinion: Perspectives from readers

Long ago I made a promise to myself that in the year I turn 80, I would write this opinion. I would express my huge disappointment that my church is no longer able to connect with the gay and lesbian children of close family friends.

Many of these sons and daughters have become active leaders in other churches; many are ordained ministers in other denominations.

And this is my year to write my opinion.

In giving thought to this writing, I have contacted gay and lesbian friends and family with questions like these:

1. Have you given up on Mennonite Church USA becoming a welcoming church? What difference would it make if it became welcoming?

2. Can you describe the church where you now worship? And your participation in this church?

I was surprised at some of the replies and delighted to know that these folks have not completely given up on our church. Let me share what they said.

“I have not given up on Mennonite Church USA. I see it happening in individual churches. I now attend two churches. I have kept my membership with the local Mennonite church, which is now open and affirming. I feel acceptance from the group, many of whom come from non-Mennonite backgrounds. I participate in special music and use my decorating talents for special events.”

“This would make a huge difference to me. It may mean that some of my family members would return to the Mennonite church. I have not given up on my church becoming a welcoming church, and I will continue to work toward that end. This means that I will put forth great effort to remain friends with those who disagree with me. I hope this (welcoming) happens in my lifetime, but at my age it may be wishful thinking.”

“No, I have not given up on Mennonite Church USA, although the journey has become extremely taxing and tedious. I remain active in our tiny congregation (expelled from conference 25 years ago) and have also become active in a large United Methodist church. They are an incredibly hospitable and warm congregation in which I am fully affirmed and appreciated. I’m so grateful for them. My hope for Mennonite Church USA would be that she follow Jesus in warmly welcoming and including all people, especially those marginalized by the broader society. They have a perspective on life that the church needs to hear.”

I used to sit in chapel at Eastern Mennonite College, Harrisonburg, Va., and see the motto overhead: “Thy Word Is Truth.” One time a visiting speaker dared to question that overhead banner. He suggested that Mennonites have made an idol of the Bible. What in the world did he mean?

In later years, I figured that he must have meant we stick too close to the letter of the law, and miss the spirit. That makes more sense to me now than it did then.

I have had a lot of years to observe our church and our many rules that have shifted with the times. I have heard thoughtful, well-meaning ministers expound on interpretations of biblical passages about long hair, coverings, modesty (meaning long dresses and capes) and divorce. As our church adapts to modern life these thoughtful ministers shifted their emphases.

Now I wonder if homosexuality might be one of those issues where we can consider what other Bible-believing Christians are accepting? In other words, can we encourage our theologians to focus on deeper issues for living the Christian life?

Back to my sense of immense loss regarding the gay and lesbian children of close friends and family members and my question to Mennonite Church USA: With all our caring, committed, creative leaders, isn’t there a way we could welcome home these members into the fold?

Here is one suggestion: Why couldn’t individual congregations make their own decisions about being open? Would this not relieve conferences from having to pass judgment on communities of fellow believers who are doing their best to fulfill their own sense of call?

It is my dream (vision) that my church will become not only welcoming but inviting, affirming, blessing and putting to work the faithful members who are a part of the LGBT community. What a difference this would make in the life of the gay/lesbian member—to be included as a fully engaged member of the body of Christ!

And what a difference this would make in my church—showing this kind of love and acceptance of all who want to be a part of this body!

This dream has been forming for a long time. I hope you will accept it in the nonjudgmental spirit I have tried to convey.

Elizabeth (Betty) Shenk Brunk attends Park View Mennonite Church in Harrisonburg, Va.