The last time I wrote, I suggested some resources for protecting and strengthening our children and other vulnerable members of our communities so that our church and broader communities are stronger and safer for all of us. (See Resources for the “Mennonite List.”) I’m grateful to learn that people actually read what I write! I received some wonderful feedback from reader (and writer) Janet Wagner Christophel, who challenged me to widen my scope and attend to the important work of challenging men to evaluate if their sexual behaviors are appropriate and God-honoring.

I completely agree with Janet that we all need to turn toward more accountability in our church communities. What would happen if we all encouraged, supported and helped one another (particularly men) to evaluate our behaviors — especially in the realm of sexuality? What if we were accountable to one another to act in appropriate and God-honoring ways?

As you might imagine, my resourcing brain immediately began to think, “What’s out there, what resources exist, how can we promote these important cultural shifts in our congregations?”

I have found a few resources out there. But what we need is a commitment by the men of our congregations to live in accountability and wholeness and to support one another in doing so. In the hope of encouraging such men, here are a few suggested resources (mostly) curated by me (a woman), but also one recommended by my husband.

1. Living that Matters

Living that Matters: Honest Conversations for Men of Faith, a book by Steve Thomas and Don Neufeld from Herald Press, comes highly recommended by my husband and aims to be a “practical handbook […] to help individuals and groups engage in honest conversations on what matters most for men — with a focus on following Jesus, forming community and building peace.”

2. Peaceful at Heart

Another solidly Anabaptist resource is Peaceful at Heart: Anabaptist Reflections on Healthy Masculinity edited by Steve Thomas and Don Neufeld. Mennonite Men also offers a study guide for this book on their website. Not a reader? The full text of this book is available on Apple Podcasts for free! (Don’t have an Apple device? Check on your favorite podcast platform.)

The next few suggestions come from my exchange with Janet Wagner Christophel. Thank you, Janet!

3. Pure Desire Ministries

Many congregations across the United States and Canada lead groups from Pure Desire Ministries. This group offers a curriculum called Sexuality Integrity 101, groups for young adults and adults finding healing from sexual brokenness (porn/sexual addiction, etc.) and those healing from betrayal trauma (partners/spouses of those facing their sexual brokenness). The statistics of those in our pews struggling with sexual brokenness and betrayal trauma are staggering. Unfortunately, pastors and the average person in the pew are often ill-equipped to offer the support, accountability and hope that is needed.

4. “Break free from porn” course

Author and speaker John Bevere developed this free “break free from porn” course. I (Jennie) must admit that having walked with dozens of women healing from betrayal trauma, I’m quite skeptical that Bevere’s ten sessions will truly be enough “to break free from this stubborn addiction . . . for good.” Hopefully in these sessions is some material on the importance of group support and accountability.

5. Bombshell

Finally, Janet wonders, “What if the movie (now on Netflix) Bombshell were shown in churches to talk about sexual abuse in the workplace and in religious circles? It would be an interesting discussion to ask why the men behave as they do and why the women behave as they do. Wh[ich] characters have a healthy view of sexuality and which ones are unhealthy? How do they hide it? How is it expressed?”

Bonus: Janet also writes: “A movie that really helped me in my recovery journey was Procession.”