This article was originally published by The Mennonite

Giving & receiving

Then I realized that one of our cars wouldn’t start. Of course, it was the one in the single car garage, the one with no easy way to be jumped.

New Voices: By and about young adults

Falling from the bleachers at a high school baseball game is embarrassing. Falling from the bleachers on top of your toddler daughter while trying to protect your pregnant belly (apparently) leads to pain (sprained ankle) and inconvenience (bed rest).

Then I realized that one of our cars wouldn't start. Of course, it was the one in the single car garage, the one with no easy way to be jumped.

As with many experiences in my life, it didn’t take long for some “gifts from God” (also known as opportunities to grow in faith) to rise to the surface.

In a recent spiritual direction session, as I was unpacking what was going on within me as I was anticipating the major transition of adding a family member, I was challenged to reflect on being a receiver. No better time to put that into practice than through the forced dependence of bed rest.

Service and community are two of the prominent hallmarks of Anabaptist Mennonite witness. Many are drawn into the church because of the Christian community they find there. Many of us have given significant resources (our time, talent or finances) to service in both long- and short-term settings. While we know the realities of community life are challenging, in many ways participating in both community and service gives us a personal sense of satisfaction.

So often we find ourselves in the position of giving. And that feels good. But what is community if others cannot serve us? What does it say about our faith and commitment to the church family if we cannot be gracious receivers as well as givers?

Most of us have found ourselves, at some point in time, in need of support and assistance. Or we have journeyed with someone through a serious illness or trial that has required ongoing support from the community. We may chide these people for not eagerly receiving all that is being offered—the church genuinely wants to demonstrate love. But when you find yourself in the position of need, when you must allow others to do for you, the realization hits that in church we are not often taught how to be gracious receivers.

In his book The Circle Maker, Mark Batterson makes the point that we Christians love miracles. We love to see them happen in our communities, to be able to testify to God’s activity. However, we don’t love having circumstances in our lives that require God to intervene miraculously.

Aren’t the ethics of service and community much the same? We love to help others. We are grateful for a church community that supports, nurtures and cares, but we’re not so thankful for the circumstances we find ourselves in that require us to depend on God through the service of our Christian community.

Graciously receiving is hard work. I thought it would be great to have an excuse to lie on the couch, watch television, read and have my husband take care of our daughter and the house for few days. But it was difficult to be confined, unable to do the smallest of tasks for myself, constantly weighing if it was worth asking someone else to bring me what I needed or if I could put off certain tasks until the time I’d be able to do it (the right way) myself.

The more I have reflected on this experience, the questions from my spiritual director and other times in my life when I have received, I’m challenged by what it takes to be a gracious receiver. Receiving requires the following:

  • Space: There must be room for the gift in our lives. We are forced to give up something that would have normally filled the time when we would have been busy. Sometimes it’s a choice to make space. Sometimes we are forced.
  • Release of expectations: Can we allow others to do things for us, even if it’s not how we would have accomplished the task? Releasing our own expectations and time frames is hard but necessary work if we truly are to receive the gift from another.
  • Trust: Do we believe others will follow through? Can we rest in the comfort and presence of the community’s provision?

This act of gracious receiving is not limited to having our needs met in times of hardship by our community but also has application in our spiritual journey. Do we open our hearts and minds to God? Do we acknowledge our areas of weakness and need? Are we willing, eager even, to receive from God? Or instead is our pride in self-sufficiency so great that we also reject what God may want us to receive? Do we make space, release our expectations and trust that God will provide in our time of greatest need?

Sherah-Leigh Gerber attends Kidron (Ohio) Mennonite Church and is coordinator of volunteers for Ohio Conference. She lives in Apple Creek, Ohio, with her husband and two young children.

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