1. Take time to reflect
For some of us, the struggle to love ourselves is real. Many forces are out there telling us that we are bad, not good enough and that we’re not doing enough. I’ve been trying to carve out time in my mornings to ask myself: What are the ways I know I’m good enough? Is my worth tied to what I do? How do I contribute to the world in good ways? What would God have to say about my negative self-talk? Forcing ourselves to see through God’s eyes can take away our fear and shame.
2. Connect with the Divine
Connection with God doesn’t need to happen on Sunday mornings at church. For some, church can be painful or cause social anxiety. By making time for reflection, we can discover the best ways to connect with God. Do you love nature? Is prayer your best form of connection? Is it fulfilling to journal about your experiences with God? There are many ways to nurture our spirituality and to worship at the same time.
3. Connect with community
For others, the primary way to experience God is though the love of other people. We should all seek out healthy communities for ourselves that help us to be the best versions of ourselves. For a lot of people, that involves church community. For others, it can be chosen family or biological family. I always encourage people to stay away from communities that exclude, make us feel less-than and don’t contribute to our emotional well-being. Boundaries are important.
4. Treat yourself
It’s not overindulgence to treat yourself once in a while. When you’re having a bad day, or struggling to love yourself and others, what would provide you comfort and recharge your battery? Eating a comfort meal, exercising or watching a favorite show can give us the dopamine we need to feel rewarded. When we feel rewarded, it can change the outlook of not only ourselves, but our lives in general. Love yourself enough to treat yourself to things you like.
5. Choose yourself
Some of us have a tendency to do everything we can for others. Sometimes we feel responsible for the emotions of others, or we feel it is our job to put others before ourselves. But the age-old phrase “You can’t pour from an empty cup” is also true. We should definitely live lives of service, help our neighbor and show care to others. But we also need to pour into ourselves and love ourselves as God does. Sometimes the best thing we can do to be a better person in the world is by filling our own cup and putting ourselves first.
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