Discovering the Brethren Mennonite Council for LGBT Interests and the existence of other queer people from a Mennonite background was a lifeline when I had no other place to turn.

Since adolescence I had struggled with same-sex attraction. I learned very early that I could not trust friends or youth pastors to keep my secret. I coped by denying who I was and suppressing my sexual self all during my formative years at Mennonite elementary, secondary and college educational institutions. I realized my prayers for change would not be answered in the way I had hoped.

Through BMC, I discovered a network of Mennonites who had walked this journey. They gave me a path forward as a gay man. BMC provided a framework to support my faith journey. I did not reject all the teachings I received in my formative years but attempted to integrate my faith and sexuality.

I began volunteering as BMC coordinator in 1983 and for five years worked to further its goals of supporting LGBTQ+ people and providing education to the Mennonite and Brethren denominations. In the 1980s and 1990s, we tried to put a personal face on the issue of homosexuality as the denominations discussed it.

We made a newsletter called Dialogue to offer alternative viewpoints. We repeatedly requested, and were denied, booth space at Mennonite and Brethren conferences. We met with listening committees as statements on sexuality were being written. When ex-gay ministries promoted change of sexual orientation, we spoke up to counter that narrative and to offer a path to a more honest and integrated life.

The idea of identifying congregations open to LGBTQ+ folks led to the development of the Supportive Communities Network. Over the years, BMC provided numerous speakers, in various settings, as well as written resources to address LGBTQ+ issues.

I was motivated by BMC’s mission to provide support and connection to LGBTQ+ people. In the early 1980s we worked to develop local BMC chapters in the U.S. and Canada and connect them on an international level through retreats and biennial conferences.

We represented our denominations at interfaith services, Pride parades, national marches and other LGBTQ+ events. I will never forget the men and women who rushed out of the crowds to us in tears on discovering an Anabaptist-related group of marchers.

BMC organized a communication network for people with HIV/AIDS. We stood alongside pastors, administrators, professors and others who lost employment at denominational institutions. Many LGBTQ+ people connected first to BMC and then found their way to join supportive church families.

I believe BMC has played an important role in Mennonite churches’ growth to become more inclusive. As we moved into the present century, other groups, such as Pink Menno, have worked to increase understanding of the LGBTQ+ experience.

My life partner of 43 years and I did not receive initial blessing from the church, but we found a supportive congregation willing to accept us as members and to marry us when that became possible in 2010.

I’m saddened to see conferences deciding to leave Mennonite Church USA. I think about young people growing up in these conferences and believe BMC still has a relevant mission to those who experience a disapproving church.

My biological family did not disown or reject me but stayed in relationship despite differences in beliefs. My hope is that, like my own family, these conferences can find a path to remain together.

Christian Yoder is a retired research nurse/administrator who now enjoys hiking the trails around his home in Southern California.