John Linscheid accepted an apology from Western District Conference of Mennonite Church USA on May 11 at Peace Mennonite Church in Lawrence, Kan., 41 years after the conference rescinded his ministerial credential because he is gay.

The service of repentance and restoration marked the second time an MC USA conference has restored the ministerial credentials of an LGBTQ+ minister. In 2023, Central District Conference reinstated the credential of Keith Schrag, who had relinquished it in 1987 while pastor of Ames Mennonite Church in Iowa.

Linscheid, who with his late husband, Ken White, went on to minister to LGBTQ+ people and to preach as a layperson in Philadelphia, reflected on the pain of broken relationships and the hope for LGBTQ+ acceptance.

“This is Mother’s Day, and my mom bore those wounds to her grave, as did my father and my beloved husband, Ken,” Linscheid said during the service as he recalled the consequences of events four decades ago. “. . . And the damage done was significant. My mom, my brother Dave, Ken, I don’t think they ever trusted church again. As was true for many others.”

Linscheid had been licensed toward ordination in Western District after beginning as pastor in 1980 at what was then called Lawrence Mennonite Fellowship. The conference’s Ministerial Leadership Commission learned he was gay in 1983, and the Home Missions Committee decided to suspend his licensure and financial support of the church plant if he continued as pastor.

“This young fellowship didn’t have it on its agenda to deal with a gay pastor, but I did,” he said. “I came out of the closet, and the congregation stood up. And really approached it in a very Anabaptist Mennonite way and wanted to try to discern what to do.”

The congregation held a variety of perspectives but valued its unity. Members decided in December 1983 to keep Linscheid as pastor for six months and invite Western District into a discernment process. Members of the congregation and Linscheid shared their experiences with Western District leaders on Feb. 18, 1984. Those leaders responded that the ministerial committee had decided a month earlier to rescind his credentials.

“The Fellowship was shocked,” Linscheid recalled. “They told the representatives of Western District that they felt like process had been violated and that there should have been face to face meetings.”

Linscheid and the congregation ultimately decided the young church could not continue without conference support, so he would leave.

“I was devastated. I had lost my vocation,” he said. “. . . So I moved on. Ken and I moved to Philadelphia. We forged our own ministries there in many ways, often among gay men, nurturing gay spirituality, with many queer young people.

“I became a lay preacher at Germantown Mennonite Church. Together we helped lead the struggle for inclusion in Germantown, and were with that congregation as it got kicked out of the denomination for its inclusive stance.”

He continued his involvement with the Brethren Mennonite Council for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Interests, while others who stayed within Western District worked to join the Supportive Communities Network as the conference passed resolutions condemning homosexuality.

Linscheid’s worshiping community of accountability is now Saint Michael’s Episcopal Church in Brattleboro, Vt.

“The folks who took my credentials, and the folks who opposed the Supportive Congregations [now Communities] Network, they were all good people,” Linscheid said. “They were always citing the need for church unity and somehow seemed to have a really hard time noticing the damage that was being done, as the queer folk and their families and their allies were thrown under the bus in the name of unity.”

Western District moderator Eric Buller, conference minister Heidi Re­gier Kreider and Ministerial Leadership Commission chair Cynthia Neufeld Smith extended an apology during the service for harm done in suspending financial support and rescinding Linscheid’s license, causing pain to loved ones and members of the LGBTQ+ community. They acknowledged broken trust with the church in Lawrence when Western District failed to listen to the congregation.

“There’s a way in which I think God maps our wounds onto the wounds of Christ, and Christ carries our wounds with us,” Linscheid said. “The wounds don’t go away. But with Christ we rise, and we live on.

“With actions such as the actions we’re taking today, we address those scars, and though the scars will always be with us, we do live on. We bear our wounds. And with Christ, we rise.”

Smith presented Linscheid with an honorary ministerial credential recognizing God’s calling in his life, his gifts of ministry and his faithful commitment to Christ.

Linscheid forgave members of Western District who broke relationships and continued in actions that were harmful.

“I pray that these sorts of steps may encourage Western District and the church as a whole to continue in its advocacy for LGBTQ people, especially in this time when we and especially trans people are so under attack,” he said.

John Linscheid’s full remarks from the May 11 event:

Christ before us. Christ behind us. Christ above us. Christ beneath us. Christ to our left hand. Christ to our right hand. Christ within us. Christ in all we shall meet.

It is strange and wonderful to be back in Lawrence. Strange because I am an old man now, and for 41 years I have seen Lawrence and Western District, as the Apostle would say, in a mirror dimly — the mirror of history. But now, wonderfully, face to face.

Today we address the wounds of the events that happened 41 years ago. Of a relationship that was broken 41 years ago. As it was mentioned, this is Mother’s Day, and my mom bore those wounds to her grave. As did my father and my beloved husband Ken [White]. And so many other lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender people, their families and allies through the years. They bore their wounds without resolution. We also have wounds. My brothers, Dave and Steve, are here. And I think of all the queer folk, family members and allies who have borne the wounds to this day. Broken relationships, shattered ideals. I remember in our family, we used to think of the General Conference and Western District as being the more tolerant and accepting kinds of Mennonites.

And the damage done was significant. My mom, my brother Dave, Ken, I don’t think they ever trusted church again. As was true for many others. I was so young 41 years ago. See on the picture [on the bulletin cover]. Just out of seminary. Totally in love with Jesus. Wanting to apply the Bible. Dedicated to an Anabaptist Mennonite interpretation of the scriptures and a way of following Jesus, and Lawrence Mennonite Fellowship was so young too, and had such a passion for being church, and similarly seemed so dedicated to the idea of Mennonite identity and trying to follow Jesus in an Anabaptist way. We were a really good match.

And of course, right about that time in the larger Mennonite church, the topic of sexuality rose up, and I started writing articles and letters in support of inclusion and making biblical arguments for inclusion, which raised some questions. And also made me feel like I really needed to come out. And of course, this young fellowship didn’t have it on its agenda to deal with a gay pastor, but I did. I came out of the closet and the congregation stood up. And really approached it in a very Anabaptist Mennonite way, and wanted to try to discern what to do about how to approach the whole problem.

In December of 1983, there was a congregational meeting and we all got together. And I remembered that in that meeting, there were some people who expressed their uncertainty whether they could stay with a church that had a gay pastor. And likewise, there were people who expressed uncertainty about whether they could stay with a church that would get rid of someone because they were gay. And this was a real dilemma. But the underlying sentiment that emerged from that meeting was that the thing that was valued highest was the unity of the fellowship, and that they wanted to try to engage in a discernment process that would somehow preserve the unity of the Fellowship as we moved forward. And so at that meeting, it was decided to keep me on as pastor for six more months and to invite the Western District, because the ministerial committee had licensed me and the Home Missions Committee substantially was supporting the congregation at that time, into that discernment process.

On February 18th, 1984, there was a meeting with the congregation, the Home Missions Committee, and the Ministerial Committee. The congregation members got up and explained where they were. And I got up and explained where I was. And then the representative of the ministerial committee got up and announced that already back in January, they had had a meeting and that they had rescinded my credentials and had revoked their decision to support my ordination. And then the Home Missions Committee got up and said that they had decided that if I stayed on as pastor, they would cut off all funds to the Fellowship.

And the Fellowship was shocked. I think I can say, honestly. And first they told the representatives of Western District that they felt like the process had been violated, and that there should have been face to face meetings, and suggested that they should still have a face to face meeting with me. And they also said that they had made a commitment to me for six months, and so they wanted the district not to cut off funds until May. And the district agreed, and the ministerial committee had a face to face meeting with me. And the Home Missions Committee agreed not to cut off the funds until May. And then the congregation said, ‘and, we will let you know what our decision is.’

Later that spring, we had a meeting in Ken and Ginger Ratzlaff’s home, and we talked about the options and realized, well, if I stayed, there would be no money. And that would make it more difficult for the congregation to continue, and there would be no money to pay me as pastor. And similarly, if I left, the money would continue. So there would be some money to continue to support the congregation as it moved forward. And so after some discussion, we decided that it would be best if I left. And so we came to a decision that I would leave.

I left Lawrence. Lawrence Mennonite Fellowship continued and grew into this wonderful Peace Mennonite Church. I was devastated. I had lost my vocation. And I remember standing in the Ecumenical Ministries building with my friend Jack Bremer, who was a campus pastor at the time, and just asking him, ‘did I make the right decision? Should I have come out of the closet? Was this the right thing to do? You know, it’s like the end of my ministry. It means an uncertain future for the congregation. Did I do the right thing?’

So I moved on. Ken and I moved to Philadelphia. We forged our own ministries there in many ways, often among gay men, nurturing gay spirituality, but with many queer young people. I became a lay preacher at Germantown Mennonite Church. Together, we helped lead the struggle for inclusion in Germantown. And we were with the congregation, that congregation, as it got kicked out of the denomination for its inclusive stance. And as Ken and I lead workshops on gay male spirituality and other things, we always had “fairy dust.” Always a little fairy dust. As Ken would say, it’s a prayer you can see. “And so we did find our way and work with the Brethren Mennonite Council for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Concerns. But there are also many people who were left here in the Western District who continued the struggle. And they stayed here. As they watched, the church passed resolutions condemning homosexuality, and the Western District Conference mounted opposition to churches joining the Supportive Congregations Network. They continued the struggle to challenge the church to be inclusive and for the wounds of rejection. Here in the Western District.

And you know, the folks who took my credentials, and the folks who opposed the Supportive Congregations Network, they were all good people. They were really good people. And they were always citing the need for church unity. And somehow seemed to have a really hard time noticing the damage that was being done, as the queer folk and their families and their allies were thrown under the bus in the name of unity.

We bear these wounds in so many ways. Every May 29th, I would mark on my calendar the end of my ministry in Lawrence. 41 years ago. Those wounds have shaped our lives. They took us in new directions, in different directions. They take us in different paths, and we just continued to bear those wounds and carry those wounds, as Jesus carried wounds from the cross. There’s a way in which I think God maps our wounds onto the wounds of Christ, and Christ carries our wounds with us. The wounds don’t go away. But with Christ we rise, and we live on.

With actions such as the actions we’re taking today, we address those scars, and though the scars will always be with us, we do live on. We bear our wounds. And with Christ, we rise. . . .

I speak only for myself today. For everyone else, all other queer folk, family members, allies, all of you. You will have to make your own decisions, how to respond to this apology. But today I, John Linscheid, accept your apology. And I forgive the members of Western District who broke this relationship 41 years ago and continued in actions that were harmful since then.

I accept and acknowledge these credentials, with the prayer that they may be a symbol that will bring some healing. Now we can’t undo what was done 41 years ago. Like I said, I’m an old man. I’m retired. I’m not living in Western District. In fact, my worshiping community of accountability now is Saint Michael’s Episcopal Church in Brattleboro, Vt. But I pray that these sorts of steps may encourage Western District and the church as a whole to continue in its advocacy for LGBTQ people, especially in this time when we and especially trans people are so under attack. So I thank you. . . .

May God bless you with the passion of the martyrs, Mennonite and queer, with the urgency of the prophets, Old Testament and now. The energy of the spirit. Joy and peace. Go forth. And may God, creator Christ and Holy Spirit, empower you. Amen.