What a profound Pentecost, again!

Last year on Pentecost Sunday (May 19, 2024), I held a daylong discernment around the call to ordination. I was approaching the end of my first year in seminary at the Center for Wild Spirituality and deciding if I wanted to continue on to year two, the vocational track. In my discernment process, I had already sought out intentional one-on-one conversations with Mennonite mentors who were ordained pastors (Dorcas, Gwen, Sandy, Steve, Wendy). I’d heard their affirmation of my gifts and calling to the work of eco-ministry. I also heard the reminder that historically as Mennonites we have valued the heart and leading of the Holy Spirit, more than formal seminary training, when considering if one is equipped for ministry. 

I took this wisdom out onto the land with me that Pentecost. It took nine hours for me to work up the courage to ask my soul-question about ordination. In hindsight I realize I was afraid of what a yes might mean. The unspoken ‘what ifs’ were simmering in the subconscious: What if that means relocating, giving up current work I like, disruption for my family, sacrifices of money/time/energy away from people and activities I enjoy engaging with now, and what if I don’t know enough or meet others’ expectations?

While I was out there pre-dawn to dusk, I noticed a lot of bugs and slugs. Wendy, a Mennonite pastor who has been my mentor in Wild Church leadership, wisely invited me to pay attention to where my attention went while I was on this daylong discernment.

One slug in particular showed up all day. Our first meeting was in the woods at dawn as I was finishing up a centering prayer practice and transitioning to welcoming the new day with offering Greeting and Thanks. I had laid out a pretty prayer card inspired by the Thanksgiving Address of the Haudenosaunee people that honors the universal message of gratitude and thanksgiving. (See my post on this prayer from November 23, 2023). A slug came and began to eat the edge of this pretty paper. Recognizing hunger and wanting to preserve the paper, I broke out my breakfast, a boiled egg and homemade bagel. I offered bread to the slug as I slipped the paper away and substituted a bite of bagel, which the slug immediately took to. As we silently ate together, I was delighted at how much the slug enjoyed my baking.

The slug would appear and disappear throughout the day as I held space in a prayerful posture. As the sun began to sink below trees to the west, I knew I needed to speak the question that had drawn me out to the land: Am I being called to ordination?  And the response from the land, from Holy Wild, was: “We see you. We’ve seen you all day. We’ve seen you always.” Wow, did I feel so seen by the Holy and the wild surrounding me. What an affirmation!

After a pause that allowed the message to sink in, there was another message: “And there is nothing more that you need to do.” With that, I wept tears of relief, tears of amazement. I had not explicitly shared my fears of what being called might mean. Without even having to speak those fears, they were known and responded to with such kindness. 

After that I followed-up by asking, “What’s with the bugs and slugs today?”, to which I heard: “What you’ve done to the least of these, you’ve done unto me.” Unbeknownst to me at the time, I had broken bread with Christ embodied in a slug. Sharing my breakfast had been holy communion with a sacred slug. Wow again! 

These responses from Mennonite mentors and from Holy Wild on the land, human and more-than-human sacred companions on this spiritual journey, freed me to ask a new question. Do I need to be ordained?  shifted to Do I want to continue on towards ordination and vocational ministry? To that, my soul said a wholehearted Yes! This was responded to with a sacred, “It is already so.” That was the moment I felt ordained, witnessed by the wild.

Pentecost 2024, my wild ordination day, ended with stating my intentions of service, speaking vows, holding a ceremony with rituals, including foot washing (do slugs have feet?) and anointing (by slug slime on my big toe), followed by celebrating with ‘Cookies of Joy’ shared with the slug. 

To have my commitment to eco-ministry first recognized and celebrated by the Earth community felt so right. As a Mennonite leader of a Wild Church with eco-spirituality interwoven with my Anabaptist values, I am forever grateful that this wild ordination preceded the human institutional recognition that has followed a year later. 

Pentecost 2025, just a few weeks ago on Sunday, June 8th, I gathered with my faith family at Taftsville Chapel Mennonite Fellowship in the morning and Wild Church in the afternoon to celebrate my graduation from seminary with a certification in eco-spiritual direction. We served Saint Hildegard’s von Bingen’s ‘Cookies of Joy’ there, too. I’ll share the recipe with an invitation to join me in the celebration from wherever God has circled on a map for you.

 RECIPE

Hildegard’s Cookies of Joy

A 12th-century German abbess, Hildegard von Bingen believed food could nourish the body and soul. I was introduced to these cookies when on retreat at the Green Mountain Monastery in Vermont as part of my first year in seminary. The sisters there gave me a copy of the recipe (it made 300 cookies), which I’ve modified to make a household batch.

Ingredients

• ¾ cup butter (1 ½ sticks)
• ½ cup brown sugar
• ½ cup white sugar
• 1 egg
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• ¼ teaspoon salt
• 1 ½ teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• ¾ teaspoon ground cloves
• Optional: 8 ounces high quality dark chocolate, chopped

Instructions

1. Cream together butter, brown sugar and white sugar in a large bowl until light and fluffy. Mix in egg.
2. In a separate bowl, stir together flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. Add this dry mixture to the wet ingredients and mix until combined. Cover and chill the cookie dough for at least 30 minutes. 
3. Roll out dough (between two sheets of parchment prevents  the dough from sticking to the surface and rolling pin) to a ¼-inch thickness. Cut with a cookie cutter (I like to use a heart shape as that is how I had them at the monastery).
4. Place cookies on a baking pan lined with parchment.
5. Bake at 375 F for 10 minutes.
6. Optional: Once completely cooled, you can dip each cookie partly in chocolate. Melt chocolate using a double boiler or microwave. Stir often. Dip cookie into melted chocolate. Shake off any excess, then set the cookie back on the parchment to harden.