“Do you think we should only offer beef or turkey, since we will have Jewish and Muslim people there?” my co-host asked.

Skipping any pork seems like the lowest hanging fruit. Maybe we should skip all meat altogether, I mused, since there will be Hindu people there, too.

Speaking of fruit, that’s a good menu choice if Jain guests were coming.

The menu for an interfaith gathering is an expression of hospitality. Long before anyone is greeted warmly at the door with a personalized nametag, we can prepare a good welcome.

If you wanted to know what to wear or say for a Muslim iftar or Amish wedding, you’d probably ask a friend or look online. But back in 2011 when I was working as a hospice chaplain, I pulled How to Be a Perfect Stranger by Stuart M. Matlins and Arthur J. Magida off the bookshelf and pored through.

Each chapter explores etiquette for religious ceremonies (typical services and life events such as child blessings, weddings or funerals) for a rich variety of faiths practiced in North America:

• African American Methodist Churches
• Assemblies of God
• Bahá’í
• Baptist
• Buddhist
• Christian Church (Disciples of Christ)
• Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist)
• Churches of Christ
• Episcopalian and Anglican
• Hindu
• Islam
• Jehovah’s Witnesses
• Jewish
• Lutheran
• Mennonite/Amish
• Methodist
• Mormon (Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)
• Native American/First Nations
• Orthodox Churches
• Pentecostal Church of God
• Presbyterian
• Quaker (Religious Society of Friends)
• Reformed Church in America/ Canada
• Roman Catholic
• Seventh-day Adventist
• Sikh
• Unitarian Universalist
• United Church of Canada
• United Church of Christ

The book is now in its sixth edition, and I reviewed the Mennonite/Amish chapter this month as I wondered if Anabaptist World readers would recognize themselves. You won’t be surprised that the most notable details are attributed to the Beachy Amish and not Mennonite Church USA.

Any insight into food for the Beachy Amish? No alcohol at celebrations and receptions, certainly. And “Would it be considered impolite to neither eat nor drink?” The answer is “no.” I wonder, though: Wouldn’t you be concerned if I didn’t eat at your wedding reception?

This question shows up in each chapter and nearly always the answer is “no,” it would not be impolite to neither eat or drink — except when the meal is the very center of the ritual, like Jewish seder.

Our Church of the Brethren’s holiest meal is during Love Feast. In any congregation I’ve attended, we are so intent on being hospitable that we make sure everyone knows that the feetwashing is optional — and that would apply to the meal, too. I wonder how many people passed on the sop before congregations put vegetarian soup on the menu.

Sop is the traditional food for many Love Feast celebrations: a salty beef broth (with or without pieces of meat) poured over white bread. There are two groups: sop-loyalists and sop-skeptics. Thankfully, the tradition of sop has never trumped the hospitality of Love Feast in any congregation I’ve celebrated with.

“Blessed are the flexible … for they will not be bent out of shape,” is the beatitude I recently learned from a Jewish activist friend.

We can be flexible guests and we can be flexible hosts. What is so precious in your own tradition that you couldn’t flex?

If you’ve got local sweet corn, there’s no better way to celebrate than slathering on butter (or substitute) and salt. But corn-on-the-cob can’t be enjoyed by people with various dental challenges. Here’s a way to flex the joy of fresh sweet corn.

Corn-with-the-Cob Soup

12 ears of corn
10 cups water
Sea salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cups diced yellow onions
Pepper oil, for garnish

1. Cut the kernels off the corn and set aside.

2. Put the corncobs, water, and 2 tablespoons of salt in large stockpot over medium heat. Cover and cook for 30 minutes.

3. Heat oil in large skillet over medium heat. Add onions and a pinch of salt and sauté until golden, about 7 minutes. Add the corn kernels and a pinch of salt and sauté until the corn is just tender, about 4 minutes more.

4. Remove the corncobs from the stockpot and discard. Working in batches, pour some of the broth in a blender. Add some of the corn mixture and process until very smooth.

5. Return the soup to the stockpot and stir in a pinch of salt to taste. Cook over low heat until just heated through. Serve garnished with a drizzle of pepper oil.

To make Pepper Oil:

Dice and gently sauté a hot red pepper in olive oil until the pepper is soft, but not brown. Let it sit in the oil for at least 1 hour.  Use only the oil to eat with the corn, unless you want a serious kick in your garnish. If you want the heat, you can process the pepper with oil in a food processor. You could also make the oil with a sweet pepper, if you want a lovely pepper flavor without the heat.