On Aug. 1-3, Mountain States Mennonite Conference, the conference I am part of, will be hosting its annual assembly. This year’s assembly will be closely watched by Mennonites from across the U.S. and around the world.

Depending on who you ask, we are either prophetically leading the church to a new reality or we have come as close as a conference can get to committing the ultimate sin. In February we licensed an openly gay pastor. In the Mennonite world licensing is the first step on the path to ordination.

This decision has pushed our conference to the very center of the Mennonite world. Whether you are a Mennonite of not, the discussion itself is familiar.

On the conservative side it goes something like this:

• “Scripture is clear on this subject.”
• “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”
• “Marriage is between a man and a woman”

And on the more liberal side we hear:

• “Scripture is clear on this subject.” (I know, both sides claim this one.)
• “God created us with particular orientations and desires; let’s celebrate and support these differences.”
• “Love is the only biblical orientation.”

So there is a sense in which everyone is claiming to have the moral high ground. Like everyone else I have a bias in this discussion. That is not what I want to talk about.

Is there a way for everyone to back off a bit? I was part of one discussion where someone was so worked up that they began to tap me on the chest with their fingers. Quite frankly once we achieve that level of anger, it is safe to say that the conversation is no longer about the Christian faith.

I have heard people say that more often than not conversations about orientation and Christian faith quickly descend into irrationality. An irrational conversation is frustrating for everyone.

One possible solution to this dilemma is to choose grace over the need to be right. Back when I was in college the popular book Evidence That Demands a Verdict by Josh McDowell was making the rounds. The idea behind this book was to prove to everyone who didn’t hold a certain set of convictions and beliefs about the Bible that they were wrong. It took years for me to learn that arguing people to my convictions and beliefs rarely works.

What I have discovered in the last 20 years is that choosing grace is a much better approach. One, it leaves space for me to be wrong and two, it allows the other to be wrong! When we choose grace then it becomes possible to live and worship with those who are different.

There are many people predicting that the Mennonite Church USA is going to split over sexual orientation disagreements. I hope our leaders and the rest of us find the courage to be graceful with each other. It will not always be comfortable or easy, but it might be the most Christian decision we can make.

Glenn Balzer lives in Denver and attends His Love Fellowship. He blogs at glennbalzer.com where this post first appeared.